Brazilian Federal Police Are Not Playing! (Video)

The Federal Police are on some Miami Vice shit in this video.  Story goes that the plane is loaded with drugs and about to take off as these officers  rammed the wing.  Props to whoever took the second to pull out their cellphone can catch this video!

Crackhead Caught in Bait Car [Video]

Wow, I would probably do the same thing if I had a rock and knew I was about to go to jail for an extended period of time.  Never wanna waste good crack!

Cop Tasers 10 Year Old

Recently an Arkansas police officer decided that he couldnt control a ten year old and tasered the little girl.  Really?  He couldn’t contain a ten year old?  If he couldn’t contain a little girl, what good is he going to do w/ a violent adult criminal?  Is he going to taser everyone?  Thankfully, after a FBI investigation, the moron was fired for not having a camera attached to the device.

Full story @ Gizmodo

British Policewoman Moonlights as a Hooker

A British policewoman was recently arrested for moonlighting as a hooker, how dope is that?  That might be about as good as the Indianapolis officer that was working as pimp with his wife last year.  The 29 year old started with the police in Northumbria, UK in 2002 and became a $200/hr hooker in 2006.  I guess the benefits package for police in the UK must suck.

Full story @ the Guardian.

Portland Man Caught Turd Spelunking For Second Time

Recently Portland police caught a gentlemen at the bottom of an outhouse that claimed to have lost his wedding ring in the collection of waste below.  The police almost bought his nonsense until checking his record and finding out that it was the second time he’s been caught chillin’ in shit.  Now I’m into some weird shit … not even gonna lie.  But this is a bit over the top.  Who in the fuck wants to wade in piss and shit, waiting for someone to piss and shit on them?  I don’t get it.  Thats just filthy.

Full story BoingBoing.net

Identical Twins Commit Perfect Crime

I totally need an identical twin!  German police have had to release two brothers suspected of a large jewelry heist in Berlin because they can not differentiate between their DNA as to which one was actually the culprit.  That is fucking dope!  As long as there is no eye-witness (and even then that could be questionable), these two could do whatever they want and blame it on each other w/out the chance of either ever actually being convicted!

I would totally be a criminal for hire at that point.

Full story @ Spiegel Online

IMPD Officer Charged w/ Banging Hoes in Elementary School

An IMPD officer faces charges of misconduct for picking up a prostitute and taking her to the elementary school where he moonlights as a security guard to fuck her in the nurse’s office.  At first read, this story is jokes for days, but then I read one line and truly felt sad for this slob.  The hooker he would pick up only charged $40.  That must have been one ugly ass ho!

Full story @ IndyStar.com

Santa Opens Fire on X-Mas Party and Torches House

An estranged ex husband showed up at his ex’s parents’ home dressed in Santa suit.  When an 8 year old answered the door, he blasted her in the face with a 45, began firing at the rest of the attendees, and started dousing the house in an accelerant.    The next day, police found Santa dead in his home.

WTF is wrong w/ some people on X-mas?  First the crazy trooper and now this lunatic.  I must admit that this might be the most rivetingly violent news story that I have heard in a long time.  About 20 years ago, this would have definitely been turned into a movie of the week.  Gotta love the idea of saying “Fuck the chimney, I’m burning this bitch down!”

Full Story @ News Day

From Honor Roll to the Ho Stroll …

Police in Mass. have arrested 2 women for heroin and prostitution, but what I thought was most interesting about the story was that the it mentioned one of the hoes used to be an honor student.  How does a newspaper discover that a habbitual junkie slut was on the honor roll 7 years ago?  I know that newspapers tend to print local school honor rolls, but to go back 7 years to discover some hooker was on the honor roll is a bit of a stretch.

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Cop Rapes Hooker w/ a Baton!

A group of corrupt cops in Australia are facing charges that include taking freebees from street hoes, fucking a hooker w/ a baton, running a brothel w/ a drug dealer, and spending a weekend out of town doing drugs w/ a tranny.  It’s good to know that all cops are in some dirt.

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IMPD Gay Motorcycle Patrol!

While I was stopping at Starcrack this summer, I met a gentleman that proclaimed himself to be the mayor of Indianapolis’s near east side.  He told me and a friend a few stories about running crackheads and prostitutes out of his neighborhood.  After the run-in, my friend told me that he thought the guy was a homo-thug cop.  You know the type.  He’s an asshole cop because he’s too paranoid about being a fag.  Anyway, I was talking to an officer on the vice unity, and he totally confirmed for me that most of the motorcyle unit of the IMPD is hella pink.  Yesterday as I was out on my grind downtown, I ran into Officer Homothug w/ what I assume was his little boytoy and just about pissed myself.  It was so fucking stereotypical.  He’s an older fag w/ a young boy thats barely out of high school.  WTF?!  Now I’m deinitely afraid of being sadomized with a billy club in Indy!

Flint, Michigan Cops Reduced to Dresscode Policing

Flint, Michigan’s new police chief has commanded his officers to start citing and arresting people that sag their pants for “immoral self expression”. I wonder if the new chief knows that about the only form of expression not protected by the First Amendment of the US Constitution is child pornography. Even further, most exposure laws clearly require the exposure of the genitals and not just the clothing cover thing genitals. I wonder how he plans on justifying this policy while allowing women to wear bikinis to local pools or beaches.

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Baltimore, Maryland considered a similar ban last year that was met with resistance.

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As well as Dallas, Texas.

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Christian Bale Arrested for Smacking Around His Mom & Sister

The Dark Knight star turned himself into London police yesterday on allegations that he assaulted his mother and sister Sunday. First the Joker kills himself, and now Batman beats up his mom. Maybe the Dark Knight’s intense plot was too much for its stars to handle. Something in me wants to see Aaron Eckheart jump off of a building.

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Disgruntled Shooting Victim Shoots 2 Photographers

IMPD is holding a man they believe shot 2 photographers last night that were taking pictures of a fire on the near east side of Indianapolis. Police believe that the man who shot the 2 photographers was disgruntled by the lack of attention to his bullet wound 2 weeks ago. What the fuck is wrong with some people?!

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IMPD Officer Shooting May Have Been a Family Affair

In addition to the crackhead that shot a cop in Indy last week, IMPD has also arrested his mother and father. The police believe that his father was an accomplice in the murder/burglary of an elderly man on the east side of Indy, and the mother was the get away driver in the police shooting.

Families that commit crimes together, stay together?

I have a feeling that meth or crack was somehow involved.

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